Therapy works by showing up, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and getting really honest with yourself and your therapist.
Sometimes it can help to set an intention to guide the direction of our work. In other instances, it can be equally beneficial to let yourself free associate by allowing your mind to wander and your words to arrive spontaneously.
Some of the most interesting sessions I’ve had begin with the client saying, “I don’t have anything to talk about.” It’s usually on these occasions, after the client has finished saying all the things they have said before, either out loud or to themselves, that new and surprising thoughts arise.
The therapeutic process involved in psychodynamic psychotherapy can take a circuitous path as you discover those things that you were unaware of at the start. The journey takes the shape of a spiral rather than straight line. There is no standardized procedure in the highly individual work of self inquiry. Free association in talk therapy can be intimidating for some, but embracing the realm of the unknown opens up the space for possibility and transformation.
You can expect a therapist who is empathic, creative and direct. My approach to psychotherapy is both incisive and gentle. In our work together, I will utilize an eclectic array of interventions including analysis, somatic experiencing, mindfulness, breathwork, guided imagery, dream interpretation and elements of dialectical behavioral therapy, as they are appropriate to your unique strengths and circumstances.
What is the catalyst that brings you here? Consider what is motivating you to seek therapy, whether it is a specific event or events from your past, particular relationships, a new development or phase of life, or simply a desire to know yourself better.
Reflect on what you hope to get out of treatment — and if you’ve been in therapy before, consider sharing the things that have (or have not) worked for you with other therapists in the past. Definitely share any psychoactive medications you are on or substance use that you are engaging in.
Bring your memories, your dreams, your present day experience, your hopes and your fears.
Comes as you are. There is no need to be a “good therapy client” or show up as the polished, presentable version of yourself. My office is a space where you can say what you really think, express how you feel, try out new ideas or ways of relating, and not worry about being judged.
You might feel exhausted after a particularly transformative session or excited and hopeful after making a breakthrough. If you are in the middle of processing trauma or grief, prepare to feel vulnerable and raw. If you spent your session confronting a stubborn habit, you’ll likely feel frustrated.
How you’ll feel after your session has everything to do with the material that came up, how it was held by your therapist, your response to it, and where you are in the process.
Psychotherapy is definitely work and the emotional labor should be considered when scheduling your session. I often advise clients to leave at least a half hour following session for quiet time to reflect, integrate, and decompress. It is not advised to go on a date or attend a busy social event immediately after couples therapy, for example.
I hope you will tell me. This is a sign that there is a rich area of work available for exploration within the therapeutic relationship, which can be utilized a sort of laboratory for experimentation.
The process of psychodynamic psychotherapy is relational, meaning that part of the change and healing that occurs stems from the relationship that is created when client and therapist come together to do the work. Some of the most important work many people do is confronting attachment issues within this sphere.
The therapeutic relationship is a unique space in which you get to say how you really feel, identify what resonates with you and what doesn’t, try new ideas and approaches, make corrections and repair ruptures with someone who is open and receptive to what you have to say and whose job as a therapist is to meet you with compassion and non-judgment.
Part of my job as a therapist is to reflect what I see, help you confront limiting beliefs and challenge unhealthy behaviors. Facing difficult material is often uncomfortable or scary, especially if there are subjects that you have gone to great lengths to avoid. I make every effort to reflect what I see in a direct manner with gentle loving kindness.
It is both completely normal and very common for clients to develop feelings of all sorts for their therapists.
In a positive therapeutic dynamic, your therapist will hold you with curiosity, understanding, compassion and love while you are asked to show up in your authenticity with all of your perceived flaws and vulnerabilities. Doing so opens up the possibility of being fully accepted by someone who is interested, listening, and really sees you – so of course it makes sense that you may begin to project feelings of admiration, affection or desire onto your therapist.
The intimacy of the work and the inherent power differential means that it is important to work someone who holds firm ethical boundaries. Therapy never includes sex.
No. Dual relationships between therapist and client are strictly forbidden by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences, the state regulatory agency for mental health professionals, in an effort to protect the client from the power differential that exists in treatment.
While positive transference (projections of love and desire) is completely understandable, the therapeutic relationship is a special agreement provided for within the confines of professional boundaries in order to protect your safety and confidentiality.
Honesty.
For therapy to work, you need to get really honest with yourself and your therapist. This, of course, requires the motivation to show up and then allow yourself to be vulnerable and receptive.
Ability and willingness to self-reflect.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is an insight oriented approach that requires a desire to do the inner work of self inquiry and self reflection. Insights may originate from reason, emotion, intuition, memory or the body.
Noticing change in therapy is kind of like watching your hair grow. It’s definitely happening, but it may not be apparent at the exact moment you take a look in the mirror.
Occasionally, you may have moments of stepping back from the work and seeing that things in your life have changed. For example, you may notice differences in the quality of your relationships, your responses, your ability to experience or manage your emotions, your level of self awareness or new personal insights and new perspectives.
The length and frequency of treatment depends on who you are and what kind of work you are doing as well as your intention, interest and motivation.
In my practice, I prefer to develop long term therapeutic relationships. On average, I see clients anywhere from several months to several years. Clients who come in to address a particular crisis may only stay for 10-12 sessions while others who identify as life long seekers may decided to stay engaged in the work for many years.
This being human is the work of a lifetime.
The depths of the psyche hold patterns of memory, dream & desire. Join me in exploring the unseen currents that shape your life — inviting transformation and a return to wholeness.