Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist in Tiburon, CA

A crisis in one's primary relationship can feel like an identity crisis, opening up the philosophical question of the distinction between self and other on the most intimate level. Who am I apart from you? Who are we together?

As couples, we find home in one another's hearts and safety in togetherness, the absence of which can be devastating. 

The moment when the construct of an intimate partnership, that home you have lovingly build, threatens to fall away is a unique opportunity to rebuild both your relationship with yourself and one another; It is also one of only a handful of catalysts that has the power to motivate lasting change.

I am here to help you move through chaotic times and find stability in the midst of crisis. 

And also, some of the most effective treatments for couples happen long before problems arise, so if you are seeking therapy as a couple in anticipation of a life transition or just to know one another better, you will be gifting yourselves the opportunity to create an even more stable foundation - shoring up the coastline for life's eventual storm.

I use a heart-centered approach to help couples open to vulnerability and engage from a place of radical honesty in order to repair trust and rekindle intimacy.

We start by practicing simple and effective communication skills that foster clear communication and empathy.

My approach is gender sensitive, inclusive and sex positive. I welcome you and your loved one wherever you are on the spectrum of gender identity, expression and sexual orientation. 

I am here to encourage and support the best in both of you as individuals and as a couple, whether your goal is to stay together or amicably separate.

My goal is to help you feel safe enough to be vulnerable and share the things you have been too afraid to say out of fear that you will no longer be loved.

As a couples therapist, I do my best to act as an objective moderator and a non-partial witness to this very intimate process. 

If you are wondering if you need couples counseling, the thought of allowing a stranger into the intimate chambers of your closest relationship is probably accompanied by a particular mix of curiosity, hope and dread. 

Can couples therapy help you repair the relationship you are fighting to keep? 

Can you learn to trust again? 

You love each other but you both feel misunderstood. Every time you try to communicate you manage to trigger your partner's deepest sensitivities. Is there someone who can help you communicate your needs in a way that they can be received with love? How do you both learn to listen better and accept one another for who you really are?

Perhaps you have been together for a long time but the emotional distance is making you wonder if you are really happy or just getting by. Maybe it's been years since you shared physical intimacy. Can couples therapy bring you close enough to reignite the passion you once shared?

Whether you are experiencing explosive arguments or a tense stillness, if you are considering couples counseling, you haven’t given up yet.

Yes, couples therapy works. It works most effectively for people who are open to being honest, vulnerable and truly curious about themselves and their loved ones; open to throwing away the assumptions about what they think they already know about their partner; and willing to make radical change. 

Finding a safe space in which you can allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner about the truth of your needs and desires is critical to opening the door to mutual understanding, intimacy and connection. 

Finding ways to hold one another’s pain with compassion and speak to one another from a place of curiosity goes a long way towards healing.

Couples counseling, and therapy in general, is not effective unless all parties are equally willing, motivated and invested in the process. 

If your partner is resistant to therapy but you feel you would benefit from a non-partial witness to reflect your experience and help you sort through your feelings about the relationship, I can help you come to clarity about your path forward. 

Couples counseling can be disruptive in so far as it tends to bring to the surface sensitive issues that need expression in order to be resolved. If there is any physical violence in your relationship, please seek individual treatment instead.

The relationship dynamics involved in intimate partnerships are not exclusive to any one combination of gender identity or sexual expression. 

Heterosexual or queer, you can feel safe with me to speak openly about sex, love and commitment, longing and loss.

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Marin County located within easy proximity to Mill Valley, Sausalito and San Francisco. Visit me in person at my office in Tiburon or meet me for therapy online anywhere in California.