Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist in Tiburon, CA

A crisis in your primary relationship can  feel like an identity crisis: "Who am I without her? What am I like without him?" 

We find home in one another's hearts, safety in concept of togetherness, the absence of which can be devastating. 

The moment when the construct of an intimate partnership threatens to fall away is a unique opportunity to rebuild your relationship with yourself and one another; It is also one of only a handful of catalysts that have the power to motivate you to create lasting change.

I am here to help you move through chaotic times and find stability in the midst of crisis. 

That said, some of the most effective treatments for couples happen long before problems arise, so if you are seeking therapy as a couple in anticipation of a transition or just to know each other better, I commend you. 

There doesn’t need to be anything “wrong” with you. In fact, there probably isn’t, even for those of you who are in the midst of the most difficult of times. 

I use a heart-centered approach to helping couples allow for vulnerability, rebuild trust, rekindle intimacy, learn effective communication skills and strengthen their connection with honesty and empathy. 

My approach is gender sensitive, inclusive and sex positive. I welcome you and your significant other wherever you are on the spectrum of gender identity, expression and sexual orientation. 

I am here to encourage and support the best in both of you as individuals and as a couple, whether your goal is to stay together, amicably separate or open up your relationship.

My goal is to help you feel safe enough to be vulnerable and share the things you have been too afraid to say out of fear that you will no longer be loved.

 As a couples therapist, I do my best to act as an objective moderator and a non-partial witness to this very intimate process. 

If you are wondering if you need couples counseling, the thought of allowing a stranger into the intimate chambers of your closest relationship is probably accompanied by a particular mix of curiosity, hope and dread. 

Can couples therapy repair the relationship you are fighting to keep? 

Can it teach you to trust again? 

You love each other but things haven’t been easy. Is there someone who can help you learn to understand each other better? 

Perhaps you have been together for a long time but lately you feel so far away and the distance is making you wonder if you are happy or just getting by. 

Are you missing the passion and intimacy you once shared or do you seem to trigger each other’s deepest sensitivities every time you try to communicate? 

Whether you are experiencing explosive arguments or a tense stillness, there are likely things you could be saying to each other that either aren’t being said or aren’t being heard. 

If you are considering couples counseling, you haven’t given up yet.

Finding a safe space in which you can allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner about the truth of your needs and desires is critical to opening the door to mutual understanding, intimacy and connection. 

Finding ways to hold one another’s pain with compassion and speak to one another from a place of curiosity goes a long way towards healing.

Couples counseling, and therapy in general, is not effective unless all parties are equally willing, motivated and invested in the process. 

If your partner is resistant to therapy but you feel you would benefit from a non-partial witness to reflect your experience and help you sort through your feelings about the relationship, I can help you come to clarity about your path forward. 

Couples counseling can be disruptive in so far as it tends to bring to the surface sensitive issues that need expression in order to be resolved. If there is any physical violence in your relationship, please seek individual treatment instead.

The relationship dynamics involved in intimate partnerships are not exclusive to any one combination of gender identity or sexual expression. 

Queer or hetero-normative, you can feel safe with me to speak openly about sex, love and commitment, longing and loss.

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Marin County located within easy proximity to Mill Valley, Sausalito and San Francisco. Visit me in person at my office in Tiburon or meet me for therapy online anywhere in California.