Trauma Informed Sex Therapist in San Francisco

Many of us have exiled our sexual desire as a forbidden or shameful subject that we engage with in a fragmented, and often secretive, manner. This can have a disastrous effect on our relationships and be the limiting factor in our potential for creative expression. It is not our sexual instincts that typically create psychological problems, but the repression and denial of such instincts that leads to pathology. The way we approach intimacy, what we desire, and how our fantasies shape our reality all provide important clues as to where we can expand and develop our identities and ways of being in the world at large. What you explicitly desire, what you secretly desire, and what yet remains in your unconscious awareness are powerful motivators steering the course of your life. Still, this can be one of the most difficult areas to discuss openly for fear of judgment, or worse, rejection by those who matter most to you. In the domain of sex, in particular, it is critical to have a non-partial, non-judgmental listener who can hold the most intimate aspects of your being with empathy and kindness. I approach sex from a place of openness and nonjudgment to help you integrate all aspects of your identity so you can freely express yourself in alignment with the multifaceted, dynamic individual you truly are.

The challenges and rewards of sex, love, and human connection transcend social norms and categories. Where there is love, there is value and the potential for healing. As a therapist, I am more interested in how you love than who you love; the ways your relationship helps you grow rather than the terms that define it. 

In the context of unconditional positive regard, I will help you explore the truth of your desire, what makes you feel powerful, and what makes you feel safe enough to be vulnerable. We will examine how you derive meaning from your sexual experiences, create emotional intimacy in relationships, and form spiritual bonds that both originate from and transcend the physical body.

I welcome queer and hetero clients alike. Whether you are lesbian, gay, bi or trans will make no difference in the attention you can expect to receive in my care.

A sex positive approach to therapy sees the value in all forms of relationships and sexual connectedness that honor honesty, safety, and consent. A positive approach to sexual experiences emphasizes mutual respect and pleasure, however that may look. 

The give and take of pleasure in sexual acts doesn’t always need to be more than that. Sometimes, however, sex is compulsively misused as a substitute for emotional connection, compensation for lack of internal self-worth, unhealthy coping mechanism, or unconscious attempt to resolve a painful experience in the past through the repetition of unhealthy behaviors. Finding clarity about what motivates your desire can lead to the revelation of underlying issues that need to be addressed before you can find the freedom and release that belongs to lasting sexual pleasure.

My approach is gender sensitive, inclusive and sex positive. Wherever you find yourself in the infinitely varied spectrum of culture, gender, race, sex and religious identity, you are welcome here with me. It is my privilege to join you on this journey. I am here to help you see that everything is possible.