Trauma Informed Sex Therapist in San Francisco

Many of us have exiled our sexual desire as a forbidden or shameful subject that we engage with in a fragmented, and often secretive, manner. This can have a disastrous effect on our relationships and be the limiting factor in our potential for creative expression. It is not our sexual instincts that typically create psychological problems, but the repression and denial of such instincts that leads to pathology. The way we approach intimacy, what we desire, and how our fantasies shape our reality all provide important clues as to where we can expand and develop our identities and ways of being in the world at large. What you explicitly desire, what you secretly desire, and what yet remains in your unconscious awareness are powerful motivators steering the course of your life. Still, this can be one of the most difficult areas to discuss openly for fear of judgment, or worse, rejection by those who matter most to you. In the domain of sex, in particular, it is critical to have a non-partial, non-judgmental listener who can hold the most intimate aspects of your being with empathy and kindness. I approach sex from a place of openness and nonjudgment to help you integrate all aspects of your identity so you can freely express yourself in alignment with the multifaceted, dynamic individual you truly are.

The challenges and rewards of sex, love, and human connection transcend social norms and categories. Where there is love, there is value and the potential for healing. As a therapist, I am more interested in how you love than who you love; the ways your relationship helps you grow rather than the terms that define it. 

In the context of unconditional positive regard, I will help you explore the truth of your desire, what makes you feel powerful, and what makes you feel safe enough to be vulnerable. We will examine how you derive meaning from your sexual experiences, create emotional intimacy in relationships, and form spiritual bonds that both originate from and transcend the physical body.

I welcome queer and heterosexual clients alike. Whether you are lesbian, gay, bi or trans will make no difference in the attention you can expect to receive in my care.

Sex, whether a simple act of physical pleasure or a profound experience of divine bliss, is a fundamental way that as humans we relate to one another, embody our animalistic nature and transcend it. 

Sometimes, however, sex is misused as a substitute for emotional connection, compensation for lack of internal self-worth, as an addictive escape, or unconscious attempt to resolve a traumatic experience through the repetition of unhealthy or risky behaviors. 

For others, previous experiences of sexual abuse, rape and intimate partner violence make the possibility of physical intimacy terrifying and the body's vulnerability treacherous territory. Resolving your history of sexual trauma through somatic awareness and emotional insight clears a path for creating a renewed sense of safety that will enable the body and heart to open again. 

Exploring what motivates your desire for sex and the fears that get in the way of a blissful, embodied connection can lead to the revelation of underlying issues that need to be addressed before you can find the freedom and release that belongs to lasting sexual pleasure.

Wherever you find yourself in the infinitely varied spectrum of culture, gender, race, sex and religious identity, you are welcome here with me. 

My approach is gender sensitive, inclusive and sex positive. I recognize the value of all forms of relationship and sexual connectedness that honor honesty, safety, and consent. I believe that positive approach to sex emphasizes mutual respect and pleasure, regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation. 

My office is in Tiburon, CA with easy proximity to Mill Valley, Sausalito and San Francisco. I see clients for therapy in person and online anywhere in California