Trauma Informed Sex Therapist in San Francisco

How do you approach intimacy in your relationships? Where do you find pleasure? Do you seek control or surrender? How do your fantasies shape your reality?

What you explicitly desire, what you secretly desire, and what still remains outside of your conscious awareness are powerful motivators steering the course of your life. 

Exiling your sexual desire as a forbidden subject that you engage with in a fragmented manner can destroy your intimate relationships and limit your potential for creativity.

The repression and denial of your basic instincts will make you sick.

Still, sex can be one of the most difficult areas to discuss openly for fear of judgment or rejection by those who matter most to you. In the realm of sexuality, it is critical to have a non-partial, non-judgmental listener who can hold the most intimate aspects of your being with empathy and kindness. 

As a trauma informed sex therapist, I will help you approach sex from a place of openness and curiosity with the goal of expanding your erotic intelligence and integrating all aspects of your identity so you can freely express yourself in alignment with the multifaceted, dynamic individual you truly are.

The challenges and rewards of sex, love, and human connection transcend social norms and categories. Where there is love, there is value and the potential for healing. 

As a trauma informed sex therapist, I am more interested in how you love than who you love; the ways your relationship helps you grow rather than the terms that define it. 

In the context of unconditional positive regard, I will help you explore the truth of your desire, what makes you feel powerful, and what makes you feel safe enough to be vulnerable. 

We will examine how you derive meaning from your sexual experiences, create emotional intimacy in relationships, and form spiritual bonds that both originate from and transcend the physical body.

I welcome queer and heterosexual clients alike. Whether you are lesbian, gay, bi or trans will make no difference in the quality of attention you can expect to receive in my care.

Eros, in a simple act of sexual pleasure, the vitality and aliveness of nature, or the embodied experience of divine bliss, is a fundamental way that, as humans, we relate to one another, embody our animalistic nature and transcend it. 

Exploring what motivates your desire for sex and the fears that get in the way of a joyful, embodied connection can lead to the revelation of underlying issues that need to be carefully addressed in order to find the freedom and release that belongs to lasting sexual pleasure.

When sex is misused as a substitute for emotional connection, a transactional exchange for power or validation, an addictive escape, or an unconscious attempt to resolve a traumatic experience through the repetition of dangerous behaviors, there is risk of deep loneliness, avoidance of one's internal world, an outsourcing of agency and the potential for further harm to self or others. 

For individuals who have suffered from sexual abuse, rape and intimate partner violence, the idea of physical intimacy can be terrifying. Exploring your erotic intelligence by getting to know your own body may feel treacherous. 

Resolving a history of abuse with a trauma informed sex therapist who can help you develop somatic awareness and emotional insight clears the path for creating a renewed sense of safety that will enable your body and heart to eventually open again.

Wherever you find yourself in the infinitely varied spectrum of culture, gender, race, sex and religious identity, you are welcome here with me. 

My approach is trauma sensitive, gender expansive and sex positive. I recognize the value of all forms of relationship and sexual connectedness that honor honesty, safety, and enthusiastic consent. I believe that a positive approach to sex emphasizes mutual respect and pleasure, regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation.

Come see me for in person sex and relationship therapy at my office in Tiburon or online anywhere.