Individual Therapy for Substance Use Recovery
Expand your capacity for choice by breaking free of your addiction.
Recovery holds the promise of radical personal transformation.
Reclaim Your Life: Support for Meaningful Change
Crisis triggered by addiction offers unsurpassed value as a catalyst for personal growth. It offers an invitation: to outgrow familiar patterns, to heal what once felt beyond reach, to begin again. Finding gratitude, compassion and self-acceptance are the first steps forward after the deep humility that comes with acknowledging that you are no longer in control of an impulse that, for however long now, has taken hold of your life.
This is rigorous, daily work — requiring courage, commitment, and compassion for yourself, especially on the hard days. The same dedication and loyalty you showed your addiction needs to be turned around and applied to your approach to healing. Intensive outpatient addiction treatment can provide you with the support and structure you need to succeed with long term recovery.
Grief is a common response to loss, even the loss of a habit, especially when one has built their identity around a particular behavior. Often the challenges solved and the situations that became tolerable through use of alcohol, drugs, or sex come to the surface and need to be addressed in a new way. People get high to feel more or to feel less, to intensify their experience or to numb, depending on the circumstances.
There are leaps to be made, defenses to shed, and new experiences of self to be examined. This amounts to an unparalleled opportunity for change for the person who is willing to do the work or simply cannot continue otherwise.
Inevitably, questions arise.
The fact that your system can’t tolerate a toxin isn’t a moral failing—it’s actually your body’s way of protecting you. What isn’t normal, or shouldn’t be, is choosing to ingest something that will eventually make your mind and body fail. If drinking is damaging your health, wellbeing, or relationships, you’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you for needing a new way forward.
Worrying about what to say—or what people will think—is completely normal. Here are a few simple things you can say in social settings: “I’m not drinking.” “I’m taking a break.” “It’s not working for me.” Or you can have fun with it, “Oh, no thanks. It’s better this way for everyone.”
You get to share as much or as little as you want. Some people are open about their journey; others keep it private. Recovery is all about learning to set firm, graceful boundaries, and this is part of that lesson. Over time, your confidence will grow and the urge to explain will usually fade away.
One last thing: the only people truly noticing what you’re drinking are other alcoholics.
It’s completely understandable to worry about being likeable—most of us learned to socialize in a culture where drinking is the norm, so there’s often some catching up to do. But it’s important to remember that your sense of what was “fun” (and how you showed up) was often distorted by alcohol.
Sometimes, what you discover isn’t that you’re no longer fun, but that your concept of “fun” has changed.
As you move forward, some drinking buddies may fall away, and you may find yourself building new, more authentic connections. That’s not a loss; it’s clarity.
Real fun is connection, laughter you remember, and joy that isn’t followed by regret. You get to rediscover what lights you up—on your own terms.
This is one of the most challenging—and rewarding—parts of getting sober. If you’re asking this question, you’ve already begun the important work of personal transformation. Loosening your identification with your substance of choice, whether alcohol, weed, or pills, is a powerful first step toward long-term recovery. It’s an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Recovery invites you to get curious about who you are beneath old habits and roles, and to become intentional about who you want to be moving forward. Often, this is a moment of radical transformation. With support, you can explore and embrace your true self—often discovering more depth, creativity, and meaning than you ever imagined.
I’ll be honest with you: the early days of recovery can be boring, painful, and frightening—especially depending on the severity of your addiction and how long you’ve been drinking. What’s worse is having to go through those early days more than once, or living in the purgatory of intoxication and withdrawal. Do this once, and you never have to experience a hangover again.
In sobriety, you’ll learn new ways to cope with discomfort—building resilience and discovering that you’re capable of self-soothing without alcohol. You may even be surprised to find that there are many other ways to feel good. Therapy can help you develop tools to manage whatever comes up.
Finding new ways to release stress and let go is a crucial part of recovery. There are so many healthy tools—like mindfulness, dance, yoga, surfing, running, climbing, time in nature, or creative expression—that can bring real relaxation. This is also your chance to try all the things you couldn’t do before because you were drinking or recovering from drinking.
Over time, you may find that you’re able to relax more deeply and authentically than you ever could before.
Yes, absolutely—but don’t rush it. Dating sober can feel daunting at first. You may notice you’re more self-aware (and maybe more self-conscious) without the blunting effect of alcohol. That’s completely normal. Many people find it helpful to take the first year of sobriety to focus on their relationship with themselves and take a break from dating. Relational stress is a common trigger for relapse, so give yourself time.
Pay attention to the signals your body gives you about safety, and start dating when you’re truly ready—not out of obligation or pressure.
Thankfully, the culture is shifting, and there are now plenty of options for mocktails and non-alcoholic drinks. Not only is it possible to date and build relationships without alcohol, but your connections will likely be more meaningful and aligned with your values. Sobriety can help you show up more authentically and make choices that genuinely serve you.
If you’re thinking, “Sober sex—WTF?” you’re not alone. The idea of sober sex can be terrifying, especially if drinking or using was always a part of intimacy. It’s normal to feel vulnerable or awkward. You may even silently declare yourself a born-again virgin. Embrace the chance to have a second first time. Many people find that sober sex is more connected, present, and exciting. When you’re sober, every sensation is heightened. Don’t be surprised if the best sex of your life is still to come.
For those who have experienced sexual harm during their time drinking or using, trauma-informed sex therapy is an excellent resource for helping to gently reconnect with your body, rediscover your own agency, and open up to new possibilities for pleasure.
Many artists worry that sobriety will dull their inspiration. This is your opportunity to realize that the substance is not the muse—it was you all along. As time goes on, you may even find that your work becomes more nuanced, layered, and precise, as you begin to see more clearly and your tools for accessing new realities expand. Sobriety can deepen your connection to yourself and your work—making your art feel even more authentic and powerful.
AA is one path to recovery, but it’s not the only one. For those with trauma histories, group settings can feel unsafe or potentially triggering. Many people find that the personal care they receive in individual therapy is more private and contained. In a moment that often involves shedding old personas and can feel incredibly raw, what matters most is finding what works best for you.
If you’re an extrovert who thrives in social settings, AA can be an excellent resource for connecting with a new community where shared histories can normalize and validate your experience. For those who are by nature more inward, reflective, or empathic, group settings can feel dysregulating. The most important thing is that you don’t drink or use. How you achieve that is highly personal.
Treating Dual Diagnosis: Healing the Underlying Causes of Addiction
“Dual diagnosis” refers to the underlying emotional and psychological conditions that increase a person’s vulnerability to addiction—and the complications that make it more difficult to recover. These are often the very symptoms that led you to drink or use in the first place:
Self-medicating works until it doesn’t.
What was once an effective coping strategy has become the problem. The drink that once calmed your nerves now fuels your anxiety. The substance that once softened your grief now deepens your despair.
Healing becomes more complex once the substances are removed. For many, these deeper issues surface fully for the first time in years. At that point, the person is no longer just grieving the loss of their closest friend and coping tool—they’re also facing the underlying pain it once helped to mask.
This makes recovering from addiction even more difficult. Once the substance is gone, the re-emergence of psychological symptoms — anxiety, depression, trauma, rage, shame — can be overwhelming. The substance was never just the problem; it was a response to something deeper.
In these cases, intensive outpatient psychotherapy is not only appropriate, but often more necessary and effective than any medication or 12-step program alone. It provides a space to face what the substance was helping to manage — with support, structure, and deep relational work.
It is, as they say, “a cunning and baffling disease.” But what truly complicates recovery isn’t just the addiction itself — it’s what rises to the surface once the substance is gone.
A Safe, Confidential Alternative to AA
Recovery spaces should feel safe — but for many, traditional groups like AA can feel exposed, unpredictable, or even threatening. You may find yourself surrounded by people at varying levels of commitment, sobriety, or respect for boundaries.
In therapy, you’re not asked to speak in front of strangers or navigate unsafe dynamics. You’re met in a private, confidential space where your boundaries are respected and your healing is the focus.
Whether you’ve had uncomfortable experiences in group settings or you simply want a more attuned, relational approach, therapy offers a path grounded in trust, depth, and emotional safety. Here, you can work through the core issues — shame, trauma, loneliness, rage — with steady support and without performance or pressure.
Recovery is a daily practice that comes with daily challenges. Drug and alcohol counseling can help you manage the range of emotional experiences that surface in the wake of abstinence from long-held habits.
Early recovery is considered by some to range anywhere from one to five years. Relapse is part of the process for many — but it doesn’t have to be inevitable. The routine practice of radical honesty, personal accountability, and self-awareness are crucial disciplines to develop if you don’t want relapse to be your story.
Quitting doesn’t get easier. Having someone to talk to — someone you trust to listen without judgment and offer unconditional positive regard — is more important now than ever.
Support on the Path to Recovery in Marin County Including Sausalito, Mill Valley & Tiburon
It is my honor to support individuals in recovery on their path to renewal and change. Perhaps you have recently completed:
If you have acknowledged you have a problem that you are no longer able to manage on your own and are ready to accept help, please reach out. I offer private, confidential intensive outpatient addiction treatment and drug and alcohol counseling in person in Tiburon, CA.
Crisis is opportunity. Holding gratitude for the moments that bring radical change — even in the darkest hour.
